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they_call_me_kp
17 January 2009 @ 02:12 pm

I’m a big reader. It’s what I love to do. There’s almost nothing I wouldn’t give to spend a cold day wrapped up in a blanket with a book and a cup of hot cocoa. Today, however, I heard about a new wave of technology that is attempting to change the traditional style of reading forever.

 

It’s called “The Kindle.” A 10.3 ounce electronic device, much like an iPod, that Amazon.com has introduced to revolutionize the way people read. “Lighter and thinner than the typical paper back,” Kindle is completely mobile and convenient.   With the ability to store up to 200 hundred books on the device, (and with an upgrade users can store hundreds more,) Kindle is virtually the equivalent of carrying a personal library with you.  

With wireless technology, the Kindle allows you to buy and download the books that you want in less than 60 seconds and without syncing your device to a computer.  Furthermore, Kindle uses the EVDO network that many high-powered cell phones utilize so users will never have to locate an internet hotspot. 

Although this innovation is hardly brand new, my initial reaction to the idea was not favorable.  Though I do believe that some of the technology involved in creating this apparatus is truly amazing, I'm not at all in favor of the idea.  Among the myriad of qualms I have concerning this "modernization of the way people read," is that fact that printing books, magazines, newspapers etc. is the final form of mass media that has not yet been digitized.  I know this is a ridiculous stance to take, especially considering the fact even newspapers and magazines are making their way into the online world just to keep the attention span of their target markets, but come on. Why is it so difficult for anyone today to spend any significant amount of time with anything that isn’t on a computer screen. 

To me, there is something cold and distant about technology that I feel is not conducive to the personal nature that is inherent in the act of writing and reading books.  Books are comforting; there is some distinct quality to holding a book that I don't have when I'm holding a cell phone, or an iPod or a laptop. This feeling, I fear, would be lost while trying to read Charlotte Bronte’s “Jane Eyre,” on a computer screen. Part of me just has a hard time accepting the idea that books are suddenly going to be turned into files written in binary code rather than words printed on a physical page. 

Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon.com, stated in an interview that "part of the magic of the book is it's ability to disappear while you're reading it."  He goes on to say that it is this key quality of the physical book that the creators wanted to channel in developing the Kindle.  The creators do not want the device to be a distraction to the reader, so they invented technology called "Electronic Ink," to create a display that is crisper than paper and does not strain a person's eyes like a typical computer screen. There are other “enhancements,” that the creators of Kindle have included to facilitate your reading pleasure. For instance, instead of book marking pages, the Kindle remembers for you which page you read last. Also Kindle has a built in dictionary, so if you don’t know the meaning of a word, you can simply type it in and Kindle will give you the definition.

 

Not only that, but the Kindle has the ability to allow a person to make notes in the margins of their “books” and then search for them (much like a person can do on Google) at any time. The whole idea just sounds so lazy to me. Instead of making a person use his or her brain when taking notes on something that they’re reading, the computer will just do it for you and then, later on, show you where every little thing you wrote is. Not only that, but people are incapable of carrying around any reading material that weighs more than a pound, so the solution is to carry around everything you could ever want to read in a compact carrier that weighs less than a regular paperback book. 

Among the simple problem I have with the Kindle interfering with my traditionalist view on reading there are other problems that bother me as well.  One being that unlike the iPod where one can simply upload the cd's they already own to the device, The Kindle is incapable of acquiring the physical books a person already owns.  So if someone who owns a Kindle wants the books they already have to be in the database of their library they would have to buy the electronic version of the text from Amazon.com.  This, to me, seems like a scam. 

And as long as we're talking about the monetary issues of the Kindle, I feel it is necessary to note that if this technology is to become "the new book," Amazon.com will have an unfair advantage in the market.  As far as I know, (and I admit I have not done a ton of research on this subject,) there are no other devices on which a person is capable of downloading and reading entire books.  Given this fact, Amazon can charge whatever amount they want for these books to be downloaded, they have no competition as far as digital books are concerned.  Unfair, I think so.

 

Also, if you look at the list prices for books on the Kindle compared to the prices for the physical books, you’re paying less than half the regular retail prices. Though some may fail to see this as a bad thing, as a budding writer this greatly concerns me. With the price of books dropping so much, one has to wonder how the writers will be faring in all of this. As it is currently, writers make a surprisingly small cut for the intellectual property that they print for people to read. With this drastic cut in prices, the effect has to be somewhat detrimental to the writer as well as the entire publishing empire. Given the choice between paying $9.00 for a digital book and paying $23.00 for a physical book, what person will honestly take the effort to go to the book store to spend more than twice the amount of money on a book than they would if they just downloaded the book onto the Kindle. 

Another issue I have with the Kindle is that I like to share books with other people.  If I read a book that I think is particularly good, I'm apt to whore that book out to every person that I know. (Ex. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller.)  With the Kindle, it will be impossible to share a book that I think is fantastic outside the realm of telling someone that they “need to go buy this book!” This is another way I think that the Kindle will be hurting the literary community. Instead of encouraging people to talk about what they read and the ideas that spring out of these narratives, literature will become less of a forum for discussing viewpoints and opinions and more of a cheap form of entertainment dominated by the books most capable of holding a person’s attention.

 

Finally, this technology threatens to make the library, as it is now, completely obsolete. With physical books seen as clunky and heavy, there is a good chance that people in general will be disinclined to spend time physically looking for a book when they can simply click, pay for and download it directly onto their Kindle. 


Despite all my misgivings, if I'm being fair, there are some distinct advantages to this device as well.  The first of which obviously being the fact that a person is capable of carrying every book they could ever want to read with them everywhere.  That would be nice, especially if you’re traveling somewhere and you can’t take a ton of reading material with you. Second, let's face it, I can see today's kids being more open to reading a book if its on a computer screen because everything they’re well acquainted with is pixilated. In all honesty, if something like this can get kids to read, then it’s not 100% negative. Third, and finally, the environmental impact of the kindle will be huge if it does indeed become the most popular way to read books. Think of all the trees that will not need to be cut down in order to mass-produce literature. So for these reasons, among others, the idea of the Kindle may seem attractive a large number of people, myself not included.

 

So though I have my own reasons to be dragging my feet about this contraption that will forever change the way we read books, there are definitely reasons that the device will be favorable to some people. Though I (or anyone else for that matter,) cannot change the fact that technology is morphing the face of the world we live in, I think at times we have pushed the acceptable boundaries of what will be helpful to our species and what, in the long run, will hurt us. Although I have never come into contact with a Kindle, and cannot say for certain how exactly this device will effect the reading habits of our generation and generations to come, I do have hope that the Kindle will not become the next iPod, DVD, or whatever form of entertainment our popular culture becomes attached to. Given that books are the last form of popular media that have not in some way been digitized, I feel it necessary for some aspect of our lives to remain in the physical realm rather than uploaded into files for purchase.
 
 
Current Mood: crazycrazy
 
 
they_call_me_kp

It was senior prom night. A good friend of mine was driving home, eager to continue the festivities that only a prom can bring about. Speeding her truck along curvy roads, she felt a traumatic jolt and stopped her vehicle. A glance in the rear view mirror left her with the sight of a duck lying crumpled in the middle of the street, his body broken and motionless. This scene by itself would be traumatic enough, but then of course, his mate waddled to his side. The live duck settled on the ground next to the lump of what had been her mate and commenced quacking, as ducks are wont to do.

Though the facts I know about Mr. and Mrs. Duck end here, I can only assume based on the information provided by Wikipedia that Mrs. Duck lived out the rest of her days as a mournful widow. As hard as it is to believe ducks, among a surprising amount of other animals, are generally monogamous. Crazy I know, especially considering the fact that humans seem incapable of this same courtesy.

Although ducks are now, and forever will be the most despicable of God’s creatures to ever walk the planet (a different story for a different day), I find it remarkable that any organisms would be capable of showing such a level of devotion when often times the human animal cannot. What is this bond that certain members of the animal kingdom can share with members of their same species and why can’t it be duplicated in the societies that humans have spent so much time building?

Through mere speculation, I’m venturing a guess that ducks and other monogamous animals are not so incredibly faithful to their mates because of feelings of “love.” Call this bond a genetic necessity, or the simple intellectual inability to find another mate, whatever sprinkles your donut, really, the fact is that ducks have been successful in an area that many humans may never be.

With skyrocketing divorce rates it’s difficult to ascertain why a person would take the risk and agree to make what is supposed to be an eternal bond with another person. Obviously there are factors that lead one to make this decision, but the question that stands out most is, “are people doing this for the right reasons?”

Humans are driven to feel some sort of connection with another human. It’s inherent. Whether it ties into that whole continuation of the species thing that Darwin was always going on about, or the simple fact that humans as a species are social beings unaccustomed to a solitary existence, the truth remains that people are plagued by a drive to find another like-minded individual. It is this drive that leads us to subject ourselves to the trial and error process of finding someone with whom we can relate. A process that many people hope will eventually conclude by generating an emotional response unlike what they have felt with any number of other individuals.

Many people are quick to call this emotional response, “love,” but at times I’m not so sure. Ever the cynic, it is my belief that “love” has simply become an umbrella term meant to encompass all the strong feelings that one person has for another person. “Love” itself does not exist, it never has. The word “love” is a descriptive term applied to express the accumulation of a myriad of other elements that attract one person to another. However, I’m sure plenty of you are not pacified simply by my humble, (and admittedly often flawed opinions,) on a subject such as this so I shall continue my attempt to persuade you.

When looking for a literal interpretation of the word “love,” one can almost always assume that our good friend Webster, the author of our most respected and revered dictionary will not let us down. This is what he had to say on the subject.

Love:
1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person
2. A feeling of deep affection
3. An intensely amorous incident; amour
4. Sexual passion or desire

At a glance these definitions seem adequate to describe the phenomenon in question. However, upon further investigation, one is quick to realize that these definitions in fact tell us nothing about what the word actually means. Let’s look for a moment at the three words used repeatedly to describe love: affection, amorous, and passion.

Affection: Fond attachment, devotion or love.

Amorous:
Inclined or disposed to love
Showing or expressing love
Of or pertaining to love
Being in love

Passion: Strong amorous feeling or desire

The fact that each of the plethora of definitions for the word, “love,” contains a synonym for, “love,” is a little self-destructing. A person cannot expect to understand what a word means when the word in question or a synonym of the word in question is used to explain that word.

Of course the lack of a distinct definition of “love” has led to the misguided assumptions that love is in and of itself a separate entity. Stemming from that initial confusion is the opinion that sex and love are synonymous with one another as is illustrated in definition number four above.

As a society in general we have regressed toward our lustful instincts. This statement is obvious in all elements of our popular culture, including (but not limited to) ad campaigns, television series, movies, music, books, etc. This degeneration of our emotional attachment in sex has obviously had an effect on the idea of “love,” especially when considering the aforementioned relationship the ideas share. When people agree to marry based on the flawed opinion that “sex” equals “love,” it should be obvious that it will only be a matter of time before that relationship disintegrates.

I find it interesting to note that even marriage ceremonies do not center solely around the idea of “love.” In fact, in the “scripts” of many traditional ceremonies, “love” takes a backseat to ideas such as “honor,” “comfort,” “support,” “understanding,” “encouragement,” “protection,” “sharing,” “cherish,” “trust,” “respect,” among a multitude of others. A direct correlation can be made between the lustful qualities people are commonly searching for in relationships and the lack of those qualities previously mentioned.

Based on these facts it is mind-boggling the emphasis that many people place on this word. Poets write about it, musicians whine about it, and philosophers puzzle over it, and they have been for years. It’s obvious that people will be confused by a “word” that lacks a definition. Young people spend their lives chasing an intangible and can never be certain that they have found it. It may benefit our society as a whole to completely abandon the idea of “love” and focus on more practical elements of our relationships to one another.

This harsh criticism is not to imply that I’m unappreciative of the relationships that I have been involved in or am currently involved in. My disinclination to believe in a word that doesn’t seem to have a concrete meaning does not imply that I consider myself above the need to feel a connection with another person. I am simply stating that maybe instead of chasing down the physical manifestation of an indefinable word, our time would be better spent focusing on more practical qualities that build relationships capable of spanning a lifetime.
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Current Mood: nerdy
 
 
they_call_me_kp
07 January 2009 @ 10:17 pm

Yesterday at work, while standing behind the register which I so graciously sacrifice my time to ensure does not escape from the evil clutches of the Sheetz corporation, I was plagued by the worst case of the hiccups known to mankind.

During my usual eight hour shift at my place of employment I'm estimating that I spent a total of six and a half hours struggling to make myself understood in between hiccups. Every other word that escaped my lips was cut off or distorted by a clumsy gasp that of course elicited smiles from my manager, my co-workers and just about everyone else in the store.

Though the hiccups are probably the most aggrivating spasms that can happen to a person, I think the part of the situation that is most distressing is the fact that every single person I came into contact with had to verbally verify that I was in fact hiccupping.

My conversations generally started out like this:
Me-- "Hello *hiccup* How're you *hiccup* today?"
Random Person -- Lol. "You got the hiccups, huh?"
Me-- "Haha. *hiccup* Yup." (Of course I really want to respond with, "No I'm just making these awkward squeaky gasping noises simply to make you ask questions.")
Random Person-- Proceeds to provide awkward methods of relieving yourself of the hiccups.

As you have probably deduced from the stirring dialogue recounted above, I recieved from various customers some of the most unusual advice to cure a case of the hiccups that I've ever heard. For instance:

* Look at your toes, press on your adams apple and swallow (which, I found out, works better than you'd imagine)
* Let a teaspoon of sugar dissolve on your tounge (disgusting, I don't recommend trying this... yuck)
* Get eight ounces of water and drink it while someone else holds their hands over your ears (I don't know if the hiccups really require a group effort...)
* Get a cup of water and drink it upside down (which is incredibly difficult and not to mention messy.)
* Hyperventilate
* You need someone to come up behind you and scare you
* Think of all the bald men you can (seriously someone told me to do this)

What happened to holding your breath and counting to ten?!

At some point during the day on Saturday I realized that in general the antidotes for the hiccups are just as ridiculous as the hiccups themselves. After trying the majority of these "cures" I have come to the realization that most of them are not worth the time they take nor the mess they create. Only one of the aforementioned solutions gave me a few moments of relief from my symptoms, and that was only brief.

Not satisfied with this lack of reprieve from the horror that is the hiccups, once I got home I decided to attack the problem from the beginning. Suddenly and without warning, I was beginning my quest to discover exactly what caused the hiccups.

Turning on the computer and logging into the internet I did what any red blooded american would do when faced with a seemingly unanswerable question... I did a Google search.

After scouring numerous internet-based articles I kept comming upon the same answer: Though many conditions are associated with the hiccups, none have been found to cause the hiccups.

GOOGLE HOW CAN YOU HAVE FORSAKEN ME!

I did however come across a number of equally ridiculous cures for the hiccups none of which I have deemed important enough to include here.

So though I have not been able to ascertain any clear catalyst for the hiccups, nor any guaranteed way to rid yourself of them, rest assured that I will not quit searcing until I have found a solution to this world wide pandemic.

I will keep you updated accordingly...
 
 
Current Mood: curiouscurious
 
 
they_call_me_kp
07 January 2009 @ 10:11 pm
The noises of the holidays are in the air. Walking into every store shoppers are met with the sounds of cash registers clanging, over-enthusiastic mothers squabbling over the perfect gifts for their children, and the salvation army Santas clanging bells trying desperately to catch the attention of frenzied shoppers. To put the icing on the proverbial cacophonic cake, the current popular tunes of the holiday season can be heard spewing from intercom systems.

Regardless of the fact that in many places holiday merchandise has been haunting store shelves for months, around early November the ritualistic playing of Christmas music began. Slowly at first, the odd song or two could be heard daily over Musac systems until it escalated into a full-fledged assault on the eardrums of shoppers everywhere.

Generally it's not the Christmas music itself that creates the problem so much as the mere fact that the same songs are repeated constantly in every store. By and large tired pop stars regurgitate classic Christmas songs to pseudo-techno beats and call it the music of the season. However, recently some artists have attempted to write their own original Christmas tunes and in the process have found new and intriguing ways to make listeners cringe.

Of course Christmas music generally conforms to the popularity of specific genres, that much is obvious. But at some point recently a good number of songs have gone from vaguely fitting to completely unsuitable for the season.
The song, "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out," by Fallout Boy is one such song. With whiny lyrics such as, "I've been checking my list, / and the gifts you'll be receiving from me / will be / one awkward silence / and two hopes that you cry yourself to sleep / staying up, waiting by the phone / And all I want this year is you to dedicate your last breath to me / before you bury yourself alive," this song does not exactly exude the Christmas spirit.

This song does not encourage a giving attitude. Songs such as this, and there are plenty, emanate a selfish narcissism not conducive to a happy holiday season. In the attempt to create stirring and emotionally driven songs for Christmas the bands in question have succeeded only in sectioning off a specific portion of their self-loathing to songs that are suitable to be played just one month of the year. With such negative connotations it is absolutely astounding that songs such as this can be heard in malls throughout America.

Just because a lyricist has included the word "Christmas" in a song somewhere does not necessarily mean it adeptly portrays the feelings of the season. Another example of this aggravating obsession with juvenile broken-heartedness is "Icicle" by Punchline which so adroitly proclaims, "Frostbite, you're an icicle / and I know how it feels to be spending Christmas alone, / the presents you bought still remain in the closet wrapped up in boxes at home / For some strange reason, I thought this was the season."

Songs that cry out wrist slitting lyrics begging for the attention of an ex-lover are not appropriate to be played in stores while the general populous is attempting to buy gifts for loved ones. The application of over emphasized negative emotions simply does not fit the relaxed, jovial feelings typically associated with the holidays.

As if it wasn't bad enough to hear these "Christmas songs," occasionally on the radio, to make matters worse, there are entire compilation albums dedicated to gathering these sad excuses for the songs of the season. For instance, "Santa Cause: It's A Punk Rock Christmas" contains such songs as, "Icicles," by Punchline, "Sleighbells and Wine," by Jason Gleason and "I Won't Be Home For Christmas," by Blink 182 among numerous other such tunes. Never before has there been an album so devoid of joy. Ironically enough, this cd just so happens to have been produced just in time for the holidays.

If any month out of the year is meant to induce feelings of pleasure at the thought of being with family, December is that month. In a time when recent economic strains have made it difficult for so many to elicit feelings of happiness for the holiday season, it does not make much sense to play songs to mass amounts of people that do not assist in this endeavor.
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